September 18, 2001

The World Around Me
by: EJ

I don't understand the world around me,

The people her are weird,

They're something one moment,

And something completely different the next,

They change so fast,

There are times I don't think they're real,

Because they are so fake inside,

They pretend that they care,

About all of the important things,

Yet, they are blind to see,

The pain they cause from their care-lessness,

I am very passionate about the things I love,

And also open-minded about most things,

But generally people totally blow me off,

When I try to discuss my opinions,

These people make me feel,

As if everything is worthless,

That my whole life is pointless,

It makes me feel horrible,

This is why they aren't my friends,

We are all just too different,

But these people will always seem strange to me,

And I'll never understand the world around me.

September 17, 2001

The Note
by: EJ

Sometimes I wonder,

If it ever came up,

What would I write,

On my suicide note,

Would I tell people I loved them,

Would I say its not their fault,

Not to worry about me,

And to move on,

Or would it be the total opposite,

Would I say I hate you all,

You ruined my life,

And made it miserable,

Its because of you,

That I killed myself,

Wow, its really hard to decide,

But hey I guess,

If the time comes,

I will know exactly what to write,

On my suicide note.

September 14, 2001

Clearly
by: EJ

I can't think clearly,

Everything is a blur,

I'm always thinking,

Maybe too much infact,

So many thoughts,

All at once,

It gets pretty confusing,

Alot has happened,

Lately I've mostly been thinking about,

My best friends,

The terrorist attacks,

And now more frequently,

About a guy,

Thats caught my eye,

I think I think alot,

Because I tend to analyze things more,

So many thoughts,

But not so much of time,

There are so many thoughts,

They all get jumbled up,

However, some get pieced back together,

But the others,

Just make it to where,

I can't think clearly.

September 13, 2001

Don't Know Why
by: EJ

I don't have anything to write,

I don't have anything to say,

Whats happening to me,

What has happened to us,

We hardly talk anymore,

I feel I don't know you anymore,

I'm scared of losing you,

Yet I avoid you,

And I don't know why,

I don't know what is going on with me,

You were my life,

My best friend,

Now it hurts to be around you,

And I don't know why,

You are still my life,

And the only reason that I'm still alive,

Maybe its turning out like last year,

Cause for no reason at all,

I'm shutting out the ones I love,

Maybe that or I'm in pain,

When I'm anywhere near them,

I'm so confused,

Cause I don't know why.

September 10, 2001

The Path
by: EJ

I don't know where life is taking me,

All I know,

Is that I have to follow my heart,

And it just may take me somewhere,

That is not with you,

Maybe thats why I hurt so much,

Knowing that one day,

I will have to give you up for good,

The time is coming soon,

Its going to be hard,

Cause we're the best of friends,

But our lives,

Are going in different directions,

Don't you dare tell me this isn't true,

Cause it is true dangit,

I have to move on,

Cause in this stand-still,

The pain keeps building up,

I am not sorry for going my own way,

Cause I have to follow my own path.

September 7, 2001

Today
by: EJ

Today, I said screw the world,

I hate it all,

I can't deal with this anymore,

I'm fed up with their crap,

I am a human just like them,

So why can't they treat me like one,

I've said it before,

And I'll say it again,

They will never understand me,

So they can go on about,

Their own happy lives,

Cause I obviously don't need them,

In my own miserable life,

Instead of helping,

They just make it worse,

After all,

I can't be everything to everyone,

So just get out of my life,

For good,

From now and forever,

Past today.