September 28, 2005

Recently

by: EJ

Why is it that for 19 years,

I never knew the truth,

They let me hate my father,

When I should have been hating her,

She fucked our family over,

Yet I didn't know till recently,

They never explained it to me,

Just left it as she filed for divorce,

And filed for bankruptcy,

Leaving my father screwed over for decades,

But I still didn't know till recently,

How fucked up it all really was,

She'd been having a long-term affair,

Thats why they really divorced,

I sometimes wonder if my dad is really my biological father,

Afterall I look nothing like him,

But testing that theory would kill him,

So I leave those questions alone in my head,

I wasted so much of my energy being mad at him,

I can't bring myself to hate her for it,

I hate what she did but I forgive her,

But I hate myself though,

Cause all along I treated him like he was unworthy of my love,

I hope he can understand and forgive me,

Cause I didn't know the truth till recently.