March 2, 2005

Unseen Abuse

by: EJ

He doesn't realize what he does to me,

Claiming my thoughts mean something to him,

Yet he still goes against my beliefs,

Too stubborn to stop hurting me,

To stop hurting our family,

When will he realize I can't take it anymore,

The pot,

The alcohol,

I thought he'd changed himself,

But I see he's still the same as when he left,

The tangible-physical things I can handle,

But the verbal items,

Thats what kills me,

The verbal abuse that I fear will someday turn physical,

Go ahead threaten to hit me,

The verbal abuse already hurts enough,

You yell and scream for no reason,

But you don't realize,

How big of an effect you have on me,

Everytime you tear my organs inside out,

You push me over the edge,

I contemplate cutting,

More than my normal thoughts,

I can't handle what you do to me,

It makes me want to slit my wrists and die,

Why don't you see how much you're killing me,

But then again,

You've always been blind to the effects of your actions,

Continuously blind,

When I'm finally dead,

Maybe you'll see,

Or maybe when you finally push me away for good,

And you become dead to me,

Maybe you'll see,

But after either of those points,

There is no point of return,

When will you stop and look around,

And see how much you hurt me.